Showing posts with label Sisters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sisters. Show all posts

Friday, March 1, 2013

Sisters come in many forms....

...And sometimes when or where you least expect?
(Disclaimer: NOT a food truck blog post)

I wasn't looking for a sister. I have three. Three great sisters. Thank you. I have a few "best friends" also. And I have a fairly busy life, that's why I needed some help around my house.

I met her through Debbie, who may have met her through Lynne, maybe. We just know that Debbie, Lynne and I have, among other things in common, we have knowing her in common.

But somehow Sheila seemed to have a special place in my heart and home and was still helping out in my household up until...

Well it started like this. Sheila came to work for me, and she did okay at what she did. Here is where she excelled. Sheila brought sunshine, light and energy with her every other Friday when her beat up old car chugged it's way into our driveway, barely making it up the hill and seemingly having almost as much difficulty getting down the hill at the end of the day. But in the meantime, we had some fun. We shared some laughs, caught each other up on our lives, exchanged thoughts on some current events and we shared more than a few confidences. We laughed together and cried a little too over the years.

Sheila was only supposed to be in my home temporarily. But when it came time for her to leave and the original person to come back, I couldn't do it. We wanted Sheila to be in our home, she had made a place in our hearts and we didn't want to change it. We asked her to stay. She said yes.

I've had some ups and downs over the last couple of years, and Sheila wouldn't let me gloss over any one of them. She wanted to stand with me through it all. She was my defender, listening ear, sounding board, and she knows a few secrets too. Sheila's got the goods on me. I knew I could trust her with that. She didn't just listen and forget either, two weeks later she'd want to know how whatever I was working on, talking about, or about to do, went. Sometimes she'd call me in between her visits just to find out how something was going.

When I shared about my family she'd go to my office and get my photos of my sisters and tie the story back to which sister it was or to which sister my niece or nephew belonged. She cared about my family, my trials and my life.

She called me 'sis.' I love her just like a sister, too.

And she never left my home without a hug and kiss goodbye, for each of us! She loved our family, showing interest in all of us and doted on Eliot, always! She exuded warmth, love and enthusiasm, for us, for life, for fun! She had a good heart. All the time.

You've picked up on the past tense, right? I don't know what set of circumstances brought us to where we are today. I'm not going to speculate or take a stab at explaining. I just know that Friday two weeks ago, Sheila didn't come and I knew that was a problem. I mean yes, it could be a car problem, but something told me it wasn't. I didn't find out until the next day where to find her....

Some chain of events occurred which rendered our Sheila unresponsive and a life squad was called. She was taken to the ER.,  eventually Intensive Care. Her real, life-long, loving sister Donna, who lives in Indianapolis had to get that call which no loved one ever wants to get. Donna drove down here with no answers and still lacks some answers, but has been by Sheila's side, or close by, since getting the terrible news.

We are taking solace today that Donna has had a chance to spend time with Sheila, though still unconscious, before Sheila is no longer with us. I've gotten to know Donna and she, me. Before we'd only heard about one another and now we know what Sheila says is true, we really are a lot alike. The sister she pretended was her sister, and the one who really is. And we are united, as are others who are visiting, supporting and encouraging Donna, we just want the best for Sheila in this transition. Nobody wants to see her suffer.

As far as unanswered questions, because we are a lot alike, my guess is Donna will seek to get a few answers. But then I pray she lets it go and holds on to memories of the Sheila who brought sunshine and love into many households, not just mine, and holds onto the happier memories of Sheila.

And above all, I hope Donna remembers that she did the very best any loving family member would and could do. She stood by Sheila making the very best decisions possible with the information available, and showed graciousness and kindness to all, but only made decisions which were the right ones for their family. That is a tough job for anyone to do, Donna shouldered it almost alone. She'll say she had support, and she did have some. But the mantle rested on Donna's shoulders. She can hold her head up knowing she stood by her sister and didn't waiver in her loyalty or her care for her, ever. I'm grateful Sheila has a sister like Donna.

Sheila passed this evening, as I was writing this post.

Much love to my 'sister' Sheila, and to her natural sister, Donna.

My traditional blog ending is never more apt:
Make the most of today, it is the ONLY one of which you, and I, are guaranteed! 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hello September 18th

We're ready for you this year, September 18th. 
Me,Sue (w/ Stephanie) Mom, Terry, Kathy

My sisters and I are planning to have dinner together tonight. 
We are late getting together for my sister Kathy's birthday. We get together for each of the sister birthdays over dinner, in addition to the family celebration with the husbands, kids, etc. Just to have time to connect with one another over good food and keep in touch.

Tonight is different, we chose the date of September 18th. We always stay in touch on this date, but don't always see each other. We lost our Mom, too soon, 37 years ago on this date. I was just 18, supposed to leave for college that weekend. I know others who have lost a parent at an early age, and I feel for them. 

Losing a Mom at such an impressionable time can not help but have an impact. Having terrific family who is close and provides support and unconditional love makes all the difference. It was hard for all of us, but being youngest (yes sisters, I got that in there!) I was the one still at home, as yet not established in my own life etc. My sisters did everything they could to stand in where they could to get me through. I don't want them to think I've ever forgotten that, for a minute, I have not.

We feel grateful to have a close-knit family who still gets together to honor special occasions, every holiday, births, weddings, and even small occasions.  We celebrate together and we sometimes, although fortunately not often needed, grieve together. I've heard people speak of not talking to or acknowledging family members, and I feel sorry for them. They are missing something.

 "Home" is often not a physical place, but is often a place in the heart where one knows they can do or say anything and will still be loved, and accepted, even if not completely agreed with or understood, still accepted and cared for. My family is my Home.

Oh, it's not always pretty. Do we argue? Yes! One year I walked out of my sister Terry's house because I didn't like the domino she played! Hahaha. I'm laughing now. Because of course,  it was not about the domino at all. She knows that and I know that. And a few might have been shaking their heads at the time, but Terry and I worked it out on the phone the next day, as we always do and always will. Because there is no thing that she can say to me, or I can say to her that can erase the unconditional L*O*V*E I have for her or any one of my sisters. Should we take care with our words, and build each other up rather than storm out of one anothers homes on a whim? Yes, of course, and we usually do. That was a rare day, (Actually, it was night, the middle of the night, we play dominoes into the night when we get together.) and an unusual circumstance. None of us are likely to forget it. But the feelings have long since been forgiven and now we laugh about it, or I do anyway. 

What I really remember is Terry might not have played the domino I wanted her to play, and it might have been deliberate to agitate me. But when the chips were down and I was struggling in the post- September 1975 time period, Terry, was there to provide stability, solace, reason, and sometimes just a listening ear or HOME. Thanks, those were the moves that counted. And there were lots of those. Seems I required lots of that patience during that next, um decade.... Thanks to all my sisters. Kathy and Sue had the foresight to live out of town during the 'rocky years,' but we all remained close, albeit long distance. And all four of us are local now and I'm grateful we are blessed to be geographically close and close at heart.

Any day now our niece Emily, who a few years ago was valiantly fighting a tough fight with breast cancer, is having her third baby. Niece Ashley is getting married where she lives in California. Almost all of us will be able to make it out for the wedding in LA, where Sara also lives. Stephanie and Mirek and their four babies are making the trip too. And of course, all the sisters will be there. We all go over and above to support each other in our endeavors big and small and all the life events inbetween, because our parents supported us. Our father in particular, raised us to believe we could do or be anything we decided we wanted to be, because he believed it of us. Thanks Dad!

So September 18th, we are prepared to remember the day, and celebrate family.  So many blessings to share together because two beautiful people loved each other and raised us to love and support each other ----no matter what. That doesn't happen every day or every where. But it happens here.

Go kiss your sister!
Edit to post:
Gus Henry Detrick has joined the world! He was  born September 19th at 7:39 p.m. Mother and baby are doing great, as you can see for yourself!  8lbs 9 oz. and beautiful.

I love the emotion in this photo, this is the first look. "Oh, it's you, in person." "Hi Mommy, Thanks."
Emily, Gus and Ryan
Our Dad's name was Harry Wass, and he went by "Hank." Henry, a cousin name to Hank, as Gus' middle name is a nod to Dad. I like it! Rumor has it Susanna and Sebastian made their visit today and approved their baby brother, so he is IN!!
Congrats Em and Ryan, and baby Gus.

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