Monday, June 8, 2009

Betsy5aLive Why?

I thought this was a pretty photo which didn’t get included from a previous blog entry.

Edited: 6/26/09

Why ‘Betsy5aLive?’It's a funny name for a blog.
Thanks for asking. I’ve been meaning to answer that question and think it’s time to do so before it changes.
Changes? Why is it changing? Some of us here in the blogosphere are resistant to change….
Well not you, I’m sure, but the reasons for the change will have to be saved for a future ‘post.’ Suffice it to say the name and location of my blog will be new in the coming days or weeks. Hopefully, the transition will be seamless and you won’t even feel the change, but will only notice the increased beauty and style!!! (She said hopefully…)

So, what’s in a name? A lot. In fact, I believe words have power, obviously, and I try not to use words for, or put power to, something to which I do not wish to give power. I’ll explain that in a sec.

The first part of my blog name is easy. It is my name, Betsy. Although, unfortunately, not as easy as one would think. Apparently, there is a segment of the population who has difficulty sounding out names and therefore incorrectly spells Betsy. Really. We are not talking about a variation of Betsy, such as an ‘ie’ ending, as in Betsie. Or as one friend, until set straight spelled my name, Betzy. No, we are talking about putting the ‘s’ before the ‘t.’ As in Besty. Therefore they can’t find my website, hmmm. No further comment.

The ‘5’ represents the number equivalent of the first letter of my last name. My last name starts with ‘E’ the 5th letter of the alphabet. Previously, I had a personalized license plate ‘’Betsy5,” not because I was the 5th Betsy in Ohio to seek personalized plates but for the aforementioned reason.

But the more important topic: aLive! aLive as in not dead. (Sorry I don’t intend to be morbid). aLive as in living life ‘one day at a time’ but living, not *d*i*e*t*i*n*g* which you might notice has the word DIE buried in it. (The buried pun is intended) More on that in a sec. And aLive as in LIVE(r) liver, liver, liver, my liver isn’t getting me. I’m alive, I’m not just my liver and whatever diseases it may, and does, hold. I’m more than that and I’m bigger than that disease, metaphorically speaking.

So back to the “not *d*i*e*t*i*n*g*” and the power of words and what we tell ourselves. This is actually the blog post I intended this blog to be about originally: What happened when I learned about my liver disease and how I lived through it, with the thought that if it might help even one person get through anything similar, I’d be gratified for having shared and helped.

So I believe we act on what we tell ourselves. Good and bad. This is why children who grow up in non nurturing environments have deficits of personality. They’ve not been developed and have been given messages of lack, etc. (a different blog post.)

(Note to reader: if not in the position of needing to lose more than 15 pounds you may stop reading now. Have a nice day! Bye Bye)

But speaking of lack, that is the approach of a …. I’m going to say it the 4 letter word that I don’t want any of my posts to be about… diet. See the die. It’s about self imposed denial of something (perceived to be) good. And what we deny ourselves we end up...what? You got it, wanting it more! And here is an insight into me: please do not deny me anything. Okay? Don’t tell me I can’t have that, can’t go there, can’t eat that, am not invited. You can call that spoiled, vain, self-centered, youngest child syndrome, or analyze that anyway you want to. But the fact will remain, that if ‘I’m on a die& ,’ and told I can’t…..---I WILL, I just will, I've proven this. And I’m not alone.

I’ve proven this theory for more decades than I care to name. And if you care to look around you at all the people you know who are ‘*ieting” have “&ieted” are “professional 8ieters” and look at all the businesses which are associated with this industry, you will see it is an ongoing, but largely unsuccessful entity. (But profitable for purveyors of..) Oh, I’ve lost weight on *iets, I bet you may have too. That is not the measure of a *iet, the true measure is how much is gained back 30 days after it’s over, then 60, and 90 days, then the results can be meaningful. (By the way there really is a reason I’m not using the word, in addition to the fact I don’t like it. So bear with me.)

So, now let’s address all those of you who are saying, "what is wrong with you, have you no self control?" "What do you mean? You can’t be told ‘no.'" Well, right. It has to come from me. It has to be a plan of my making, my choice. These might be just semantics, but they are some very important ones, because as I said, words have meaning and power. If you tell me I can’t have it, I will feel deprived and WILL make up for it. If it's an eating plan I've chosen, to eat to LIVE, IF I DECIDE that for my health and well being, I chose differently, I’m okay with not having….. whatever it is. I also say (borrowed from AA...) 'Just for today' I'm not eating chocolate brownies. Maybe tomorrow I'll chose differently. (probably not, I still don't want to die of liver disease tomorrow. Oh, you can substitute heart disease, if you can't relate to the liver disease thing. But have your liver enzymes checked if your interested enough to still be reading this). But just for today, no chocolate brownies. If I said never ever in my life again will I eat a chocolate brownie, that might be a little extreme. Because truthfully, I've had a choc. brownie since all this started. But here is another secret. I wouldn't stoop to eat just any choc. brownie out of convenience, frustration, boredom,...... you name it. I won't stoop to that. IF I'm going to do it.... I've got the brownie picked out. And I've had it. It HAS TO BE one from Bonbonerie bakery in Cincinnati on Madison Rd. There really isn't any other brownie worthy of my time. Do you get it? If I'm going to veer from 'the plan,' it's a 'controlled situation' of my choosing, not by circumstances or outside factors. And certainly not by unworthy brownies!

How did I get here? Discussing semantics of weight loss? Almost three years ago, a Dr. who happened to be much more overweight than I was at the time, but a well regarded specialist in liver disease,told me I had (and still have) end-stage liver disease. The only way to reduce pressure on my liver is to lose weight. A lot of weight. Of course he had few, if any, suggestions as to technique. And he was telling me to do what I had so far not been successful at yet in my entire adult life. I’d been successful previously in other arenas. I knew how to make a goal and reach it. I’d become a Sales Director in Mary Kay cosmetics (top 2% of company) and earned two Pink Cadillacs (top 1% of company), I knew how to reach a goal. But not one so personal as weight loss and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not personal.

It’s not just numbers. The reason we eat, what we eat, when we eat, who we eat with. It’s all personal and the habits are all formed for personal reasons. The sooner we acknowledge the personal, and many times emotional, nature of our eating habits, then we can work to debunk those which have served us poorly in our past. You know the ones of which I speak.

This blog entry is about to become too long, I pledge to make a next step series to tell you what I did next to make my plan, which did not include *ietin&, but did include losing and keeping off 86#. Okay? I know the front of this website says 88#, I have to fix that, it’s really 86, sorry.

Oh, that last part of the web address. Blogspot. It’s the reason for the season. The season of change, that is, you can also call it 'leaving Blogspot." The new address, well I don’t want to tell you till it’s as pretty as it wants to be, but coming soon…

This photo is unrelated but speaks loudly, don’t you think?


Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

Nice job, Besty! :-)

Betsy5 said...

Sue, Cute - so you are one of those people who has issues with phonetics, huh? Good. Just wait till you have to spell Basil, basel, basile? I don't know. When you find my new website, bookmark it.